


Your Name

by TVXQmamacita



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Depression, Friendship, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-20 22:31:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13727340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TVXQmamacita/pseuds/TVXQmamacita
Summary: Jungsu needed hope. So Heechul found him.





	Your Name

**Author's Note:**

> My attempt at a coffee shop AU

The coffee shop was empty.

That didn’t surprise Jungsu at all.

Not too many people were awake at five o’clock in the morning, jumping out of bed and rushing over to get a cup of overpriced coffee yet.

The only reason why Jungsu was here so early was because he didn’t go to sleep in the first place. For some reason, his apartment was too loud, and after a while it started to feel as if the walls were slowly closing in on him.

So Jungsu lazily got dressed and left his apartment; aimlessly roaming the streets for hours before dragging his feet into this coffee shop right as it opened.

“What can I get for you?” the barista asked.

Jungsu looked up at the taller man, immediately noticing his handsome features. He looked like he should be walking the runway, not taking coffee orders from miserable customers like Jungsu. He noticed the other man’s name tag. Siwon.

Jungsu liked that name for some reason.

“Um…” Jungsu began as he quickly scanned the menu. A latte sounded nice. He ordered his drink and chose to sit at a table next to the window. Jungsu was left alone with his thoughts for the time being, and he wasn’t sure if he hated or loved the silence.

He looked out the window, watching the empty street outside.

Siwon placed a full mug in front of Jungsu, surprising him. Jungsu hadn’t even noticed him approaching.

“Thanks,” Jungsu said.

“No problem,” Siwon replied with a smile. “Let me know if you need anything else. As you can see, this place is very empty, so I’m pretty much your personal servant until more people come.” 

Jungsu found his smile to be contagious, because he found himself smiling back.

Siwon started heading back to the register. Jungsu watched as Siwon picked up his phone, tapping away at the screen, and all Jungsu could wonder was who would be having a conversation this early in the morning.

Jungsu took a sip of his drink and continued staring out the window.

There wasn’t much to look at. It was still dark outside, illuminated by the street lights. A bus drove by, and the streets were back to being silent once again.

He decided he liked it. It was a major contrast to what was going on in his head.

Jungsu jumped when he heard bells ringing, alerting the shop of someone opening the door.

“Hey, Siwon!” a voice rang out, causing Jungsu to wince at the sound. He definitely wasn't expecting someone to barge in like that. “There’s everyone’s favorite handsome coffee maker.”

Siwon laughed. “Hey, Heechul,” he replied.

Jungsu watched their interaction. Overall, he found it...odd.

There was Siwon; the quiet barista.

Then there was Heechul, this strange man narrating an animated story about what sounded like an exaggerated account about how he saved his neighbor’s dog.

Siwon seemed genuinely entertained. Jungsu was getting tired just watching Heechul.

Once Heechul’s muffin and drink were prepared, Heechul turned around to find a seat, stopping when he noticed the pathetic form of Jungsu sitting by the window. “Hey,” Heechul said as he approached Jungsu. “Is this seat taken?”

That was obviously a stupid question, and Heechul knew that. He didn't even wait for an answer before sitting down on the seat across from Jungsu. “I’m Heechul,” he said, a smile forming on his face as he placed his treats on the table. He flipped his jet black hair out of his eyes.

Jungsu just stared at the stranger in front of him. Jungsu wasn’t up for conversation, and he had only known Heechul for five minutes and he already didn’t want to be involved with him.

“And you are…?” Heechul asked.

“Jungsu,” he finally answered.

“Jungsu,” Heechul repeated. “That’s a nice name. Doesn’t that mean...perfect...or something?” he asked. He carelessly waved his head. “Whatever.”

“Your name means ‘hopeful’,” Jungsu muttered before he could stop himself.

Heechul nodded. “Yes it does,” he responded, his smile getting bigger.

Jungsu took a quick sip of his latte.

“I think I’ll make you a character in my next book,” Heechul randomly announced, causing Jungsu’s eyes to widen surprise.

“Your _next_ book?” Jungsu asked, making sure he heard correctly.

Heechul nodded as he took a bite from his muffin. “I’m a writer,” he explained. “Do you read any romance novels?”

Jungsu nodded. Romance was his favorite genre, and for some reason he suddenly felt the blood rushing to his cheeks as he admitted that.

“I only have one book that’s been published,” Heechul confessed. “But remember my name, okay? Soon I’ll be a best-seller, and then you can brag to all your friends that you had coffee with the great Kim Heechul. Maybe they’ll turn my book into a movie?”

Jungsu laughed, although he wasn’t too sure why. He admired Heechul for following his dreams. He was slightly jealous as well, but he made sure not to let that show.

“Hey, it may sound crazy but anything’s possible,” Heechul stated. It almost sounded like he was defending himself, and it made Jungsu feel slightly guilty.

“No I didn’t mean it like that,” Jungsu quickly replied, shaking his head. “I just...I think it’s really cool that you’re a writer, and I got to meet someone who’s going to be famous one day.”

Heechul visibly relaxed, all offense seemed to be thrown out the window. “As a gift, I’ll give you a copy of my book. I’ll even sign it. And when I become famous you can auction it to the highest bidder.”

Jungsu laughed again. “That’s exactly what I’m going to do with it.”

“I can’t wait until I reach the level of fame where I have to wonder if people want to be around me because I’m famous or because of my charming personality.” It was Heechul’s turn to laugh. “Who am I kidding? It definitely won’t be because of my personality.”

Jungsu scoffed. “What’s wrong with your personality?”

Heechul shrugged. “People say I have a bad temper,” he confessed.

“You don’t seem like the type,” Jungsu said.

“You only met me a few minutes ago,” Heechul reminded him. “Why don’t you get to know me for a whole day and you’ll see.”

Jungsu nodded. “Good point.”

“So you know my name, my job, and the reason I’m not married,” Heechul said, the last part earning another small laugh from Jungsu. “What about you?”

Jungsu shrugged. “I’m definitely not as interesting as you.”

“Let me be the judge of that,” Heechul countered. He pulled out his wallet. “The angry morning rush is going to start in a few minutes. This place isn’t going to be as quiet as I know you wanted. My place is a ten minute walk from here.”

Jungsu furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. What did Heechul’s place have to do with- “Excuse me?” Jungsu raised his eyebrows in surprise.

Heechul laughed. “Don’t take it like that,” he corrected. “You just look like you could really use a friend? Don’t take offense but I haven’t seen someone look as sad as you, and I won’t be able to rest easy knowing that I just left you here.”

Jungsu bit his lip, considering Heechul’s offer. He really did want a quiet place to stay, but Jungsu also didn’t feel like going home.

“I’m not a serial killer,” Heechul said, noticing Jungsu having a mental debate. “Unless you really wish to die? In that case, I am a serial killer and I promise to make your end as painless as possible.”

Jungsu found himself laughing again. He finished his latte and stood up with Heechul, who ended up paying for both of their tabs. It was an unexpected gesture that Jungsu was truly grateful for.

The two of them said goodbye to Siwon and walked out the door as three customers made their way in.

* * *

It wasn’t too cold outside, but Jungsu found himself hugging his sweater tighter around himself as he and Heechul walked to Heechul’s place.

Jungsu didn’t say much during the walk, but Heechul didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he talked the whole time; about his family, what got him into writing, his favorite movies, a guy named Youngwoon who stole money from him when he was in high school.

In essence, Heechul talked a lot. Jungsu couldn’t help but feel jealous of Heechul, because besides a classmate not paying back the money he owed, Heechul’s life seemed to not have any problems.

It was a major contrast to Jungsu’s life story, and he wasn’t sure if he should be happy to have met someone who lived such a carefree life, or be bitter towards that fact.

They walked through the front door of Heechul’s house, and they’re immediately greeted by a small, brown cat.

“That’s Cherry,” Heechul said with a smile. “Heebum is my other cat, and is also very antisocial, so you can stay here for days and never see him.”

“You named your cat Heebum...and the other one...Cherry?” Jungsu asked.

Heechul shook his head with a laugh. “It’s a long story.”

He lead Jungsu to the living room. “Make yourself comfortable,” he said, pointing to the couch. “I know we just left the coffee shop, but can I get you anything? Water? Snacks? Soju?”

Jungsu smiled as he sat down. “I think I’m good for now,” he said. “Thanks.”

Heechul took a seat next to him. “So are you going to tell me about yourself?” he asked. “If I’m going to use you for my next book, I want to know about you.”

“What’s there to know?” Jungsu asked with a shrug. He wasn't even sure if Heechul was being serious about using him as a character.

“How about...what do you do for work?”

Jungsu scoffed. “I’m unemployed,” he said with a sigh. “My boss was...a fraud. Our company went under investigation and we were shut down.” Jungsu looked down, playing with his fingers. “And no one wants to hire someone who might have been involved with money laundering.” Because no matter how clear Jungsu made it that he had no idea that such dealings were happening, he still couldn’t be trusted.

Heechul had that look of sympathy on his face that Jungsu hated.

He was tired of the sympathy. He just wanted solutions.

“But it’s not your fault,” Heechul pointed out. “You didn’t have control of that.”

Jungsu nodded. He knew that, which is what made everything so tiring. All of them were punished for the mistakes of one man and it didn’t make sense.

“Well I know you’ll get another job soon,” Heechul said confidently. “You’ll get an even better one. A guy like you deserves to be rich and happy.”

“I hope the rest of the world thinks that,” Jungsu muttered.

“You don’t need approval from the rest of the world,” Heechul said. Jungsu was starting to notice that Heechul smiled a lot. “I’m not sure if it matters, but you have my approval.”

Jungsu smiled. That statement really did matter a lot to him.

“Next question,” Heechul said. “Since I’m a writer my sleep schedule is not normal, which explains why I would show up at a coffee shop at five AM on a Friday morning. My question is, why were you there?”

Jungsu looked away. He really didn’t know how to answer that question. He was at the coffee shop because he was afraid of being alone. Maybe it was because his apartment reminded him of every failure in his life and he couldn’t take it anymore. Maybe because he couldn’t stop thinking about the suicide letters he wrote to his mom and sister.

“You look sad again,” Heechul pointed out.

“My life isn’t like yours,” Jungsu simply said. “I wish it was, I really do.”

Heechul nodded. “I have been kind of lucky, I think,” he admitted.

Jungsu shook his head. He realized that he was probably bringing Heechul down, and he didn't want that. “It’s fine,” he replied. “You seem to have a great life and I’m happy for you.” Jungsu sighed, picking at the sleeve of his sweater as he tried to avoid Heechul’s gaze. “I...I’ve been trying to find reasons to keep...living, I guess.” He finally admitted it. He bit his lip, looking up towards Heechul again.

Heechul’s mouth hung open. He wanted to say something, he just didn’t know what.

“That’s why I was at the coffee shop, I think,” Jungsu continued. “I...can’t really sleep anymore, so I’m up all night and I just go to whatever place might be open.”

Heechul smiled. “So maybe I walked into that coffee shop to be your reason.” his smile disappeared as he noticed the sad look that remained in Jungsu’s eyes. “I’m sorry you had to look for a reason in the first place. Do you have a family?”

“You think I’ve been selfish,” Jungsu accused. “Don’t you?”

Heechul shook his head. “Not at all,” he answered. “You’re obviously depressed; you can’t control that. And I can bet it started even before you lost your job.”

Jungsu bit his lip. “I have a mother...and a sister,” he finally answered. “My father...he...I don’t-”

“It’s okay,” Heechul said, noticing Jungsu choking on his words. “You don’t need to talk about him.”

Jungsu released a humorless laugh. “I just met you,” he said. “You didn’t go to the coffee shop in order to be somebody’s shrink.”

“You’re right. I needed my coffee fix to finish another chapter of my book,” Heechul agreed. “But you said yourself that you were looking for a reason to go on. And if I have to be that person to help you find it, then I gladly will.”

“Thank you,” Jungsu said. “I really appreciate that.”

“I asked about your family because...if you’ve had these problems, don’t they deserve to know?” Heechul asked. “They might be able to help you.”

“I don’t tell them...everything,” Jungsu answered truthfully. “The two of them have been through so much. I don’t want to stress them anymore.” When Jungsu was with his mother and sister, he felt like a different person. They were the two most important people in his life, and Jungsu wanted to make sure they knew that. The last thing he ever wanted to do was place his burdens on them.

“I don’t know your family,” Heechul said. “But...would I be right if I said that they love you a lot?” he asked, earning a nod from Jungsu. “Then they need you in their lives. Please remember that.”

Jungsu smiled. “Is that your reason?”

“I can give you plenty of reasons if you need any more,” Heechul said. “For example, you’re still young, there’s so much more you need to experience.”

Jungsu shook his head. “I’m not your responsibility,” he said. “You shouldn’t have to listen to me and my problems.”

“Can I tell you another story about myself?” Heechul asked.

Jungsu nodded, noting how serious Heechul had become.

“My best friend was a foreign exchange student from China named Geng,” he began. Heechul laughed, hating the fact that his eyes were already watering up. “We did everything together. I’m sure I annoyed him because I was so clingy. Anyway, we ended up going to the same university because honestly, I chose my school based on his choice.” He looked down at his lap, slightly embarrassed at his confession. “Anyway, I’m rambling at this point so I’m going to fast forward.

“Um...Geng was diagnosed with brain cancer a year after we graduated,” Heechul finally said. “He died ten months after that.”

“Heechul,” Jungsu breathed out. “I’m so sorry.”

“His death still hurts me, even today.”

The two of them were silent for a while. Jungsu didn’t know what to say, and Heechul's face was so unreadable at the moment.

Heechul was the one willing to break the silence. “But life gets better, right?” he pointed out. “It has for me, and it will for you. I'm throwing my pride aside and begging you to hold on to the hope that things will get better.”

Jungsu smiled. “You really do live up to your name,” he said.

Heechul nodded. “I have to,” he replied. “It’s been the only thing keeping me sane.” Heechul sighed as he sank further into his couch. “I don’t believe in fate, but you and I were supposed to run into each other today.”

Jungsu didn’t believe in fate either. However, the last hour Jungsu had spent with Heechul found him feeling a lot better than he had in a long time, and maybe he really did meet Heechul for a reason. It didn’t matter what brought them together today; Jungsu was just glad it happened.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This didn't turn out exactly how I wanted...


End file.
